Shield Your Eyes

How Males, Young & Old, Can Resist Pernicious Thoughts & Actions

I shared a story from a talk on CD :

Feeding Consuela: How to Stop Seemingly Harmless Temptations Before They Grow into Poisonous Addictions by Dennis Gaunt.

Consuela the spider is venomous and hungry and when a young man decides to make her his pet and feeds her everyday, she grows bigger and bigger. Dennis explains how Satan's temptations often start out small- like Consuela the spider- but grow bigger and bigger in our lives the more we feed them. Using examples from the scriptures and real life he gives us advice to help avoid becoming entangled in Satan's web of lies and how to use the Atonement to remove Satan's venom from our lives. 

Pornography has also been described as a pit bull with a ravenous appetite, the more you feed it the more the appetite grows. If you can learn to starve it, the desire may not completely die, but you can learn to control it.

Two Excellent books that teach this concept are

Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation

and

Preparing your Son for Every Man's Battle: Honest Conversations about Sexual Integrity.

Both are written by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker.

They are Christian authors who have struggled with wandering eyes and porn addiction and have discovered the tools and blessings that come through keeping God's standard for sexual purity.These books have helped a lot of people resist the temptation to look by applying these tools to their lives. If applied, it kind of takes the wind out of the sails, so to speak. It really helps diminish the temptation.

Pornography is fueled through the eyes. If you were to have a drug addiction, you can stop hanging out with those who do drugs, you can decide not to buy them, etc... but with pornography addiction you can't just get rid of your eyes, so you have to learn tools to control them. These books help teach how to learn to bounce and starve your eyes from sexual images or immodestly dressed women. If you can gain victory with your eyes, it makes victory with your mind so much easier because you aren't feeding your mind with sexual images, then it makes controlling your thoughts so much easier. It is is important to teach boys this so they don't start objectifying women. We want to teach them to see girls and women for who they are. To view girls and women for their inner beauty as well as outer, not for their body parts.

Pornography is fueled by secrecy and shame. Provide a safe and non-judgmental environment so our kids (& adult males in our lives) feel trust, love & safety talking to us about this topic. Reporting to someone immediately after they have viewed something, or when they feel the temptation to look starting to build up, will definitely help diffuse the temptation because it is no longer a secret.

It is also good to have someone be their accountability partner, someone who checks in with them weekly or as often as you feel they are needed. They can ask them the tough questions like "how are you doing with bouncing your eyes when you see sexual images?" or "when was the last time you viewed something inappropriate?, etc…"

These three things seem simple, but really do make a difference. People think that there is no harm in the looking, but all the looking does add up. It is like a drop in a bucket each time they see a sexual image. Over time those drops add up and build up and when the bucket is full and over flowing, that is when the desire becomes too much to control anymore, like the ravenous pit bull and that is when they start seeking it out or acting out because they can no longer control it.

If they learn to gain victory with their eyes and mind, they will then gain it with their heart. 

They will respect, love and cherish all women. 

Chelsea

Mothers. Fathers. We ARE at War!!!

NOVEMBER 2013 NOTES

"No one is safe from the damaging effects of pornography. If we are not actively protecting ourselves and loved ones from these toxic messages, we risk leaving ourselves vulnerable to attack." - Jill C. Manning, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Geoff Steurer ( licensed marriage and family therapist) says, " The days of simply putting the computer in an open area of the house are long gone."  We are so past that simplified form of prevention....we have to be more active than we've ever been before. Because if we don't, we're going to lose this battle."

We are the gatekeepers of our homes and we should be aware of what enters our homes. We need to observe our family's habits to identify the potential for porn exposure or how it can enter our home. It is reported that 79% of young people's unwanted exposure to pornography occurs in the home. Many of us are just guarding that "front door" and we are forgetting about the back and side doors, windows, etc.. Unfortunately we have to prepare our kids and ourselves because it is not a matter of IF they will be exposed, it is a matter of WHEN!

1.Look at your media access points in you home- Internet, mobile devices, television, magazines, newspaper ads, catalogs, art books, books, etc.. 
 
2. Look at your spiritual/emotional access.
"Having internal filters is far more effective than running any sort of program on your computer."Be honest with what makes your family vulnerable and what temptations you struggle with- and cater your family media guidelines to those vulnerabilities." Jill C. Manning

3. Establish a formal media pledge. 
"It's important to not just think about guidelines for your family- write them down, print it out and have each member of your family sign it. " Jill C. Manning

4. Practice what you pledge.
"Example is one of the most powerful tools we have for our kids." Jill C. Manning

5. Have open and honest discussions with your kids about sexual matters.
We need to teach our kids about healthy sexuality, and it starts when they are young. If they don't hear it from us, they're going to hear it skewed and distorted from somewhere else.

A Parent's Guide is an excellent resource to help begin a conversation with your child or children of all ages

6. Teach your teens about serious penalties of engaging in pornography.
If they get involved in the popular activity of sexting, they are opening themselves up to potential issues with the law.
*We have listed several tried and tested filters that we (& others) like to the right of this post

7. Have a plan. Discuss a game plan with your children of what to do if they come across pornographic material. Ideally they would turn it off, come to you and discuss what they saw and how they felt. Pornography is fueled by secrecy.

Most of the information on this post came from Fighting the Battle Against Pornography

Are ANY of these on your child's phone???

I have to admit…..I thought I was pretty up on things, pretty pro-active…after all, here I am in the blog world & part of the organization, WOMEN FOR DECENCY , giving anyone who is interested to know, information that I find about pornography, how to stop it, how to educate self and family and anyone else with a desire to know as well. 

I knew about "snap chat"…..

I have a child that makes vines with friends. Those vines are clean, good fun. However, how often did said child view pornography? I don't honestly know, and that makes me very very sad. I thought "Vine" was safe and fun. I should have known better. 

As for the other Apps that are listed below, I have never heard of those. Sadly, I am sure there are many more just like them. 

BUT, this is a start to cleaning up our phones, our children's phones. This is a start to educating ourselves and moving forward.

Let's all "put one foot in front of the other" and march onward. 

Together we can make a difference. 

Please, share this article with anyone and everyone you know. 

Visit us regularly. We post monthly, on things we have discussed as a group. 

Email us @: ccmm82013@gmail.com

if you are interested in joining our local chapter.

Five Mobile Apps That Should Scare the Pants Off Parents

Dan Tynan

Dec 29, 2013

If you think you know what naughty shenanigans your teenager is up to on the Interwebs, you'd better sit down because I have some bad news for you.

According to a June 2012 survey conducted by McAfee, more than 70 percent of teens hide their online behavior from their parents. (And some of those who say they don't were probably lying.) Meanwhile, less than one in five parents are aware that their teens are viewing porn, uploading racy photos, or chatting with total strangers.

In fact, the scariest things on the Internet are the messaging, photo sharing, and dating apps you've probably never heard of. Forget Facebook: Here are five of the most troubling Web and mobile apps your teens may be using.

Kik Messenger

This alternative texting service let your teens chat and swap pictures while bypassing your wireless provider's SMS service. So if you're checking your child's normal texting history for signs of misbehavior, you won't find any. Kik's terms of service ban pornography and nudity, but a search for “kik nudes” offers copious exceptions to these rules. Kik offers a guide for parents, but it's not terribly helpful. If you want to see what your child has been up to on Kik, you'll have to take their smartphone away and launch the app to see for yourself. Other popular alternatext apps include WhatsApp, TextNow, and Viber.

Snapchat

Every day, some 400 million photos are shared via Snapchat; those photos then disappear, as Snapchat has them automatically self-destruct in ten seconds or less. In theory, it's a clever compromise between teenagers' voyeuristic narcissism and parents' desire to not have naked photos of their loved ones flying around the Intertubes. The problem? Apps that let others capture those supposedly temporary images and post them online are now widely available. Snapchat recently began offering a “Stories” feature that lets photos survive for up to 24 hours – offering even more opportunities to harvest images. Not surprisingly, Snapchat imitators (like Wire, Wickr, and Poke) are popping up everywhere.

Vine

For the most part, this app serves up endlessly looping six-second videos of cute pets and teens mugging for their smartphone cameras. But it also demonstrates just how much porn one can pack into six seconds. Following an uproar about naked naughty bits when it launched last January, Vine Labs removed the ability to search for adult hashtags like #XXX or #NSFW, but the videos are still there. Worse, anyone can search for teens, follow them, log their locations, leave comments, and try to connect with them via other services. Instagram, which officially bans nudity and sex-related hashtags, isn't much better.

ChatRoulette

This groundbreaking site lets anyone engage in video chat via webcam with random strangers. Users under 18 are prohibited, as is nudity, but nobody's checking IDs at the door or making sure everyone is wearing pants (trust me, they aren't). And if you do get booted for violating those terms, there are lookalike services (like Omegle, ChatRandom, or DirtyRoulette) with even fewer restrictions.

Tinder

Hookup apps like Tinder let you scroll through images of other members and flag the ones you like. If they also like you, you're both notified, and then you can contact each other and do what comes naturally. There are dozens of similar apps with names like Blendr, Grindr, Down, Skout, Swoon, and Pure. The problem? While some services require users to be 18 or older (Tinder's minimum age is 13), I've yet to find one that actually verifies anyone's age. Is your little angel hooking up with strangers? It doesn't get any scarier than that.

*

What can you do to stop your kids from getting into trouble on these troublesome apps? You may need to activate parental controls on their devices to keep them from installing apps without your approval, or make sure all app purchases go through your account, not theirs.

If they do use these apps, make sure they don't do it unsupervised – no matter how much they kick and scream about it.

HERE  is the original article from Yahoo…….

WOMEN FOR DECENCY

Our WOMEN FOR DECENCY meeting will be held on:

WED 1/8/14
7:30 PM


PLEASE CONTACT MELISSA OR CHELSEA FOR THE ADDRESS TO OUR MEETING

POWER IN NUMBERS----INVITE/BRING ANYONE-----ALL ARE WELCOME!!


hope to see you
Please let us know if there is anything you would like information on

Melissa & Chelsea